just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
