I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
