Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
