This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
