this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
