if you like me you must not know who I am
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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