Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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