How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
