KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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