11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
