So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
