oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
