Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
