Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
