In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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