Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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