Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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