it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
