My liver just broke up with me...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
