This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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