Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
