She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I have vodka in my lungs
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
