Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
