someone get that fucking seahorse.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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