Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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