I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
