I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
