I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sobbing to NWA
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
