There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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