Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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