Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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