Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
