forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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