I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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