i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
