peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
