i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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