oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize
