ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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