Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
