Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
