just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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