I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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