i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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