I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
