C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
