she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
