Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
