I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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