my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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